Last time, you decided that ding! better than Howie’s scream. I only have words for that: yeeeuuuuaaaaaauuuuughh! This week, I suppose it’s a question of spectacle. Do you want to do ridiculously interesting things, or do ridiculously horrible things to you? Tell me, what’s better: ridiculous spell animations or Ethan Winters’ powerful hands?
Funny mantra animations
One of my favorite moments in the RPG was getting into an alleyway brawl with misguided vandals who didn’t realize I had game-ending magic. While they swung their bronze daggers, my mage launched a laser beam into space, blasting an asteroid and dragging the debris down into a meteor shower at the poor bandits. Overkill, sure, but I can’t stand the ridiculous spell animations.
Without a console, I’m late to JRPGs (the real home of daft animations). I think my introduction to ridiculous spell animations was in Planescape: Torment. Maybe my first was Mechanus Cannon, a spell that can reach another dimension where a giant cannon opens, pumps a rainbow to discharge electricity, then opens a portal to Spray fire at your target. Absurdity. Planescape also features spells that summon angels from outer space, drag enemies to hell, and other ludicrous things. Since then, I’ve seen all of that as nothing compared to some JRPG magic that causes really potential end-of-world scenarios to defeat a bandit.
I appreciate not only the absurd performances of special effects (which artists must enjoy creating!), but also the theological and ethical implications of summoning a god literally to deal cataclysmic damage to defeat a certain guy. And it’s hilarious how sometimes that guy isn’t even killed by a spell that can vaporize all life within hundreds of miles.
Ethan Winters .’s calloused hands
Resident Evils 7 and 8age hate the hands of their protagonist, Ethan Winters. His left arm was severed and then pinned. A werewolf bit off a few fingers. Vampire teenagers cut his palm with a knife so their mother could drink from the wound. She then completely severed his hand, which he later collected as an inventory item, the button of his jacket still mysteriously attached. A haunted doll bit his hand. Acid in the stomach causes its flesh to foam. The vampire hangs him with hooks through his palms, which he yanks down and through to escape. I can’t even remember all the other maimings he suffered in two games. Fittingly, his healing animations focus on pouring disinfectant over his hands. The games hate his hand to the point of absurdity, and I love it.
First-person games can be difficult to show progress or long-term consequences for our characters. We don’t see facial expressions, don’t see many new outfits even when we’ve changed, we often have a limited view of other characters’ reactions, we don’t have animations limping or seeing blood clots on his body. .. mostly just us and our gun hands (and, if we’re so lucky, our visible feet). RE 7 and 8age focus their trauma, waving it in our faces. He wears his heart and his struggles on his tattered sleeves. It’s all nonsense, sure, but you feel like Ethan is going through hell (and ultimately the absurdity attached to the plot).
I’m still a bit annoyed by that Alone In The Dark’s Coat Warehouse didn’t win directly but I’ll still come out and say that this two-game only thing is one of my all-time favorites.
But which is better?
Too close to call. I am willing to pass this on completely to you. Tell me, dear reader, which is better?
Choose your winner, vote in the poll below and make your case in the comments to convince others. We’ll convene again next week to see which can win — and keep up the great competition.
