Have you ever witnessed an argument so stupid that you didn’t want to choose a side? I’m sure parents with multiple kids know what I’m talking about, repeating “Leave me out” over and over until they inevitably have to step in for, you know, kids. However, nothing upsets parents more than having to dictate who is allowed to press the elevator button.
All reason and logic is put out the window, and then either mom, dad, or both make a verdict, and, regardless of whether it’s the correct choice or not, the case is closed. Not another peek. Don’t even look at your sister. Do you want me to put the iPad away?
That’s how I felt when I saw Republican Representative Dusty Johnson of South Dakota submit the application “Mount Rushmore Protection Act” in response to Jalen Rose’s Twitter Videos says people should stop using Mount Rushmore to rate things because it’s offensive to Native Americans.
c.
Do I have to think about this? Can I send Jalen and Dusty into the living room until they apologize to each other? Sporting News took the Mount Rushmore athlete to 15 cities recently, and I honestly envy that I didn’t come up with that gimmick for content during the slow summer months.
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When I ask, “What’s your Portland Trail Blazers’ Mount Rushmore?” I’m really just asking for your top four. (Also, Clyde, Walton, Dame, ’Sheed.) Can we just forefather this phrase into the lexicon? (Hey-yo double dad joke because I used a form of “dad” in it.)
And shame on Rep. Johnson for ran to Fox News with an “exclusive” about filing paperwork about what some media figures have said about Mount Rushmore. No one likes a tattered story, and some deranged South Dakotans will chain themselves (glue?) to Thomas Jefferson’s forehead before it’s broken.
I honestly thought Rose would say it was offensive because two of the four presidents there owned slaves – and Jefferson, what the hell, buddy? It seemed obvious, so turning heads towards the natives was a surprise.
I’m also not sure if he was referring to a literal mass grave at the foot of Mount Rushmore when he said, “the corpses [are] buried right below.” My cursory Google search didn’t return any hits, but I’ve stated how silly all this is that you won’t get much research here. If he’s talking figuratively, like all Native Americans who have died of the genocide in general, then Representative Johnson has more disturbing memorials and monuments than the carved one. into the mountainside in his hometown.
Also, the next time GOP Johnson wants to perform, he should scribble his rhetoric on the bathroom wall of Sioux Falls Denny, where he’s handing out free pancakes and halitosis pills to people. in each month.
“Our nation has an imperfect past,” Johnson’s statement read. “But calls to cancel Mount Rushmore will not move our nation forward.”
You know what doesn’t move our nation forward, or does this elevator go up? Hot debates over whether I should ask your all-time top four backrunners or you’re running Mount Rushmore again.
