Jennifer LopezHer illustrious career in music and film once again took a backseat to her love life. Despite blockbuster movies, platinum-selling albums, sold-out tours and Las Vegas residencies, the Latina superstar continues to receive criticism for her romantic relationships. The focus today is on her marriage to Ben Affleck, with various opinions and rumors circulating on social media. But all the chatter points to one thing: blatant contempt from online trolls and the media who blame Lopez for her failed relationships. From divorce rumors to tour cancellations, Lopez is constantly being dumped when she’s in a slump and the public seems to be craving it.
Today’s headlines paints a one-dimensional picture of Affleck trying to navigate a tumultuous marriage to an overly ambitious, workaholic diva who seems incapable of true love. These biased narratives appear to be one reason Lopez released the film “This Is Me…Now” and accompanying album of the same name, as well as the behind-the-scenes documentary of it all, “The greatest love story never told.” However, she couldn’t seem to get over the noise, trolls, and harassment that was directed at her.
On June 5, Lopez handled the situation to fans via her On The JLo newsletter, in which she wrote: “It seems like there’s a lot of negativity in the world right now… but don’t let the voices of a few drown out that there’s too much love out there. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I love you so much.”
Let’s be clear: Lopez is being questioned about her love life for two reasons. First, she’s a woman – a powerful woman – and the second reason is because she’s Latina. Masculinity culture is toxic and widespread throughout Latin America and in the United States. A 2022 study found Rates of sexism are higher among Latinos in the US and concluded that reinforcing the macho narrative in the media is a false reproduction of harmful stereotypes against Latinos. In other words, when the Latin community jumps in on J Lo, it opens the door wide open for anyone else to join the bandwagon, forgetting that behind the hate is a woman, a mother, and an unmarried person. Never deny how much I love you. Love.
As rumors about her relationships spread, it overshadowed Lopez’s triumphant success story. Lopez was able to achieve the American dream tenfold. However, instead of being constantly celebrated for this, all the attention is focused on what’s going wrong with her love life. The public discussion always seems to be about criticizing what she did wrong. Maybe she’s not paying enough attention to her man, or her professional demands have put a strain on their relationship. Or maybe her global fame has overshadowed poor, poor Ben. Let’s be honest: if Lopez were a man, Latin or not, would this still be happening?
It’s not just Lopez. Take the legendary actress and EGOT Rita MorenoPuerto Rican actress who was married to Leonard Gordon for 45 years until his death in 2010. But before that, Moreno was under scrutiny for her romances with Hollywood royalty like Marlon Brando and superstars. music like Elvis Presley.
So what are we telling little girls, Latine and otherwise, about ambition and success? It’s similar to America Ferrera’s speech in “Barbie”. A woman can be successful but not too successful. She can shine like the brightest star as long as she doesn’t blind him or leave him in the dark. She may be strong but doesn’t appear stronger than her man in public. She can love herself, but not too much, because that would look like selfish, diva behavior.
The greatest love story Lopez never told was how much she had to love herself through the very public relationships and breakups that everyone seemed to be waiting for. After all, how can a woman choose career over love, right?
Zayda Rivera is a POPSUGAR contributor. She has been a professional writer for over 20 years. Z is a certified Reiki Master Teacher, yoga and Zumba instructor, mindfulness and meditation instructor, tarot card reader, and spiritual advisor.
