You and your partner have realized it’s time knot. Congratulation! But before embarking on the entire wedding planning process of finding the right outfits, food, music, invitations, etc., you must set aside some time alone to have some important discussions. It is easy to get caught up in this moment and overlook some important details of your marriage. That’s why up to 55% of couples in one study cited incompatibility as the reason for their divorce. Here are some key conversations you need to have before all the excitement begins:
Sex plays an important role in marriage as it can deepen your bond with your partner and create intimate moments where you can share your love. This is also a sensitive topic and can be quite embarrassing to bring up. However, if you are in a healthy relationship, then bringing up some unnecessary topics with your partner shouldn’t be an issue.
Most counselors or therapists encourage couples to express their curiosity and interest in knowing their partner’s sexual preferences before marriage. It gives you an idea of what you can include in your relationship. You must not embarrass or make your partner feel bad about having certain interests. Instead, talk about ways you can combine your choices and preferences.
You can also discuss past sexual relationships, ways to make your partner feel reassured if they are a victim of assault, and your expectations for the future. Creating a mutual understanding of your views on sex will play an important role in your wedding.
If it hasn’t popped up yet, you need to have this conversation as quickly as possible. You must be aware of your and your partner’s views on having children in the future. But it shouldn’t end there!
If you both agree to have children in the next few years, you need to discuss the potential effects of what could happen if either of you changes your mind. You also need to discuss how you plan to raise your children and whether your parenting techniques and styles are appropriate. Of course, all of this is subject to change, but it helps you know what to expect.
Do you also have to discuss the possibility of not having children and what other options will be available to you and your partner? Are they open to medical treatments like complete testosterone replacement therapy, in vitro fertilization, or intrauterine insemination? These are all topics you need to cover to avoid any future problems in your marriage.
- Your career and finances
Almost 48% of married couples said they mainly argue with their partners about money, whether they are spending too much or too little. Your finances and career can become a source of potential stress and pressure in your home. You must talk about it now to avoid any future stress.
Make sure you decide on the best financing options for you. Will you keep your earnings separate or open a joint account? It is best to determine which accounts you will need for daily use and which are for large investments. If one of you likes to spend more than the other, you have to find a middle ground where you can spend your money that pleases both of you.
In the same vein, you must also talk about your career plans. How do you see yourself growing in your career? A promotion means relocating? It’s important to align your expectations with reality to minimize arguments in your marriage.
Aside from sex, religious beliefs are another awkward discussion with your partner. However, it is something that you should not overlook, especially if one or both of you are religious. Before talking about this, both of you must know your stance on religion. It might not be a big deal to you now, but it might surprise you when you find out.
Religion is an extremely sensitive subject. That’s why you need to keep an open mind and respect your partner’s point of view when discussing this issue. You can not share the same beliefs and still love each other. As long as you’re willing to find an arrangement that works for both of you, you’ll be fine. It’s also a great way to see how religion might fit into your big day and if it matters to both of you.
Preparing and getting married is a fun time for couples. However, you mustn’t forget to discuss the things that are really important to help keep your marriage alive after your big day.
