There are moments in life when one’s mood dictates a need.
more Technically incorrect
I don’t know if the fact that the mercury has finally stopped going upstream – or whether the full moon has finally turned out to be the worst – but I really wanted to see something that would give my life a new meaning. new meaning.
Or, at least, something that might make me reconsider what technology means.
So I turned to the all things store, Amazon, to see what it could offer.
Intentionally and specifically, I searched for “strange tech gadgets”.
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This has been my basic inclination ever since I started live with a robot cat.
What can Amazon offer to beat that? Indeed, how does Amazon’s vast inner intelligence define “weird”?
I was blown away when I saw that there were 2,000 results. Apparently, I was about to fall into a whirlpool of splendor.
You call this weird?
But then I opened my eyes. The first offer is, oh, xsainlao Newtons Kinetic Art Perpetual Motion MachineDesktop Decoration Toys, Physical Science Toys, Non-Stop Rolling Ball Toy, Balance Creative Stress Relief Gift for Friends and Family.
This is not strange at all. This is something that executives often put on their desks. When they have a desk. In the 1980s.
I think some of the product descriptions are weird. Sample: “All parts of this product are completely handmade, and you need to assemble them yourself when you buy them. So you need to have a base for handmade.”
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The simple thing? Do you mean hands?
Next up on Amazon’s weird results – or rather, weird Amazon results – are Novium Hoverpen 2.0 – Future Premium Pen Made of Cosmic Alloy, Unique Aesthetics, Free Spin Operator Pen, Great Gadget, Birthday Gift For Men & Women (Space Black, Basic).
Which only raises two questions: What? And why?
I noticed that these specific results were sponsored. So companies have paid to be in the “exotic” search category?
Amazon’s weird choice. I choose to mutter to myself
I scrolled down a little deeper, wondering how Amazon itself would respond to my strange quest.
Happily, there was one result marked, “Amazon’s Choice.”
I was not prepared for this. Recommended by Amazon Gadgets of night light technology for the original toilet. Interesting bathroom motion sensor LED light. Strange New Strange Funny Birthday Gag Stocking Stuffer Gift Ideas For Him Her Boy Man Toddler Boy Mom Dad Brother.
Why do I need this? And, may I ask, how the hell is this weird?
Amazon – or rather the maker of this lighting product – claims that it will improve your sleep. “ToiLight is a cool LED motion-activated night light that automatically activates when you approach the toilet, illuminating it in a pleasant way that soothes you.”
Do I need a soothing night light in the bathroom? I do not. Is this strange? Not so.
And do you believe, if you buy one of these, you’ll get a free ebook? The listing says: “365 Cleaning Secrets for Your House” is the perfect addition to your Toilet Light as it will help keep your home looking its best”.
I worry that Amazon is looking the worst. I began to lose hope in the existence of real weirdness.
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Strange love
Next in Amazon’s recommendations is Cryptex Da Vinci Code Mini Cryptex Lock Puzzle Boxes with hidden compartments Celebrate Valentine’s Day Romantic birthday gift for her Girlfriend box gift for me.
Who wrote these product descriptions? Why is this good for an anniversary or Valentine’s gift? Why doesn’t Amazon understand the weird concept?
As I read a little more about this keyed puzzle box, I was prepared to admit that it contained something odd: “The Da Vinci decoder was copied from the Da Vinci manuscript in ‘The Da Code’ Vinci’. According to the plot of the story, there is a scroll about the greatest secret of the Priory of Sion and even the entire [sic] Christianity hidden in cryptography. To unlock the passcode, you must unlock the five-digit code. There are 5 turntables on the cipher cylinder and each with 26 letters, there can be 11,881,376 permutations and combinations of the cipher. “
My consciousness started to fade away. What is this new fire?
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Then the creators of this thing solved the Valentine puzzle. You may not believe this.
Are you ready?
Are you sure?
As follows: “If you are planning to propose or give a Valentine’s Day gift, anniversary, anniversary gift, etc., then cryptex is a great choice for you. Its unique password settings will add romance, fun and mystery to you. We will give you a pair [sic] Ring is to help you realize your wishes. “
You get a free pair of rings? Now that is strange.
I accept that one person’s weirdness is another’s ideal congressman. However, I worry that people who are looking for something different in their lives shouldn’t choose Amazon as their first source of ideas.
Things can turn out to be a completely different kind of weirder than they think.
