Where has the time gone?! My oldest child – who was not yet 2 years old when I started this blog and started talking about not going to school – is 14 years old and will be a freshman in high school this year. And Yes we are still don’t go to school.
A lot of people understand the concept of not going to school in the early years. Let kids play and live life… explore and enjoy, find out what they need when they feel it. Either way, the best education in your early years is game-based.
Where most people mistake it for older kids. They often wonder:
- How do children learn advanced history, math, science or languages if they are not encouraged/requested by someone?
- How can a child prepare for college?
- Do kids really just keep doing “whatever” they want?
- Do children avoid textbooks or classes?
- What does not studying in high school look like?
Now that we’re there – I’ll share what we do!
How the general education program works for high school students
When I described what I was about to explain, a lot of people looked at me confused. “It sounds like you are describing child-led learning, right? don’t go to school,“They told me. There is a misconception that not going to school literally means not being aware… that you try to avoid your children doing anything school-like or intentional, ever. end. And that’s not true. Child-oriented education and pleasure-oriented education are two terms that are often used interchangeably with out-of-school education. They all mean the same – that the student in question decides what, when and how he/she wants to learn.
When a student has not yet reached high school age, they are well aware that they are facing their future as an adult in just 4 years… and they need to start formulating a plan. In a healthy uneducated relationship, Parents are helping students discover their interests and choices, and helping them develop that plan for the future.
(In one unhealthy relationship, parents have no real involvement and just hope students figure it out. And the student has no motivation at all and plans to continue living dependent on his father and mother forever. But this is rare and not at all the goal.)
How is this?
- Discuss the future – their interests, career goals, future education (will they go to college?)
- Discover jobs through shadow, internship, apprenticeship or simply get a job
- Goal setting (short and long term)
- Choose classes or curricula or experiences that help them gain the desired/needed skills
Basically, kids know they need to prepare for their future – and they. It’s not all about what they want in the moment; they can and do think ahead and do what’s good for them in the long run, not just what makes them happy today.
Our Indoor High School
Realistically speaking, what does this look like?
Future goals are definitely a regular conversation for me and my 14 year old – she asked me what she really needed to know for her future career, to be a successful adult in general, to get her high school diploma (which I grant). When I say “maybe you should learn…” (something common children learn), she often challenges me: “When do I use it? Why do I need to know that? “If I can make a good case for it, then she wants to learn it. Even if it’s not something that particularly interests her.
She doesn’t like math, but fully understands that she’ll need to know how to create and stick to a budget, pay taxes, and do other basic “fitness” math. She’s not interested in 18th-century English literature, and doesn’t see the need for it – so that’s a no-no from her.
The current, What is she planning to do to start her high school?:
- Read a lot and write creatively – she plans to be an author now and spends an hour or two a day writing
- Advanced baking – develop her own recipes
- Russian – she wants to learn this language
- Biology – we’ll be doing this as a family, and she’s interested in lab work
She chooses these based on her preferences. She would read/write herself, read anything that intrigued her and write anything she could think of, and ask me for help in proofreading her writing (which we did). and doing). Every time she shows me her writing, I make her a few extra notes on grammar, sentence structure, etc.
Baking was her favorite thing for many years, and for a long time she thought she would own a bakery. This year, she decided she wasn’t everyone’s biggest fan, and running a business with them all day wasn’t for her. She still loves to bake, and It of chemistry to understand how the ingredients work and be able to develop their own recipes.
Russian is a language that has attracted her attention recently and she wants to incorporate it into her stories, so she wants to learn how to speak/read it better.
Biology, to be honest, I personally just find it fascinating, so I bought a curriculum for the subject, and we’re going to do it together as a family. I am revising the curriculum to incorporate lessons, adding additional labs and removing a lot of the written work so we can get the most out of it. My 13 and 11 year olds will do this with us. (And yes, the kids all agreed.)
Also, I’m sure she’ll come up with many things that she wants to do over time. She read books about ancient Egypt; we’re going to do “the math of life.” (The math of life = calculate tips and taxes, understand interest rates, calculate the square footage of a room to paint, etc – things that adults actually do every day.)
Frequently asked questions about high school
Q: How will children achieve advanced subjects if no one asks for them?
A: Do they need it? Do they care about it? Many times, children are not really need these subjects. A lot of traditional high school students are forced to sit in the classroom and do the exercises, but they forget what they “learned” as soon as the test is over. We just don’t waste our time on those things, unless they’re would like to learn it (and every kid has anything else ‘advanced’ makes them curious!). We focus on life skills and information that they will actually use as adults.
Q: Can they go to college?
A: Yes, of course. Many kids have an idea if they want to go or not when they are in high school. Right now, my daughter doesn’t want to go – and she doesn’t need to be a writer. Most families who do not attend school, and a growing number of families in general, are teaching their children that college is a potential path, but not the path in life. A lot of adults in their 30s and 40s feel cheated and heavily indebted from their own college experience. They are disillusioned and won’t do that to their children.
If our children need or want to go to college, we will encourage post-secondary (free through the state) throughout high school to get a taste of what it’s like, and we will also encourage Encourage them to choose state schools or community colleges to keep costs down. We will also tell them that attending college to gain certain skills but not seeking a degree is a viable option (and if they express an interest in this, they can check free courses).
There are so many ways kids can get into college – if that’s the right path for them – without going to school and being able to afford it.
Q: How do they learn to stick with something, if they just do ‘anything’?
A: Children who do not go to school have no particular advantage or disadvantage here. When they decide to commit to something, they have to follow through, just like anyone else. They will have times when they don’t like it, but it’s your job as a parent to encourage them, support them, and remind them of their choices. We don’t have any problems with kids sticking with the things they choose to do.
Q: What about sports?
A: None of my kids are particularly athletic, but if they are, we’ll look for local leagues. Public schools often have rules that home-schooled (and out-of-school) children in their school district can try just like enrolled children can, so that’s another option. To be honest, some people are a bit too sporty… the chances of any kid, no matter how talented, becoming ‘professional’ is very low. And if they’re not on an elite track, there are ways to get the sporting experience without going to the public schools.
Q: How do they get the diploma?
A: I can’t speak to every state, but in Ohio, parents give them diplomas. As a homeschooled family, parents set criteria for receiving a (yes, yes are not ‘required’ classes or credits), generate transcripts, and issue diplomas. Due to the Diploma Fairness Act, colleges and employers are required to accept this as a diploma from a public or private school.
I haven’t decided what my criteria are yet, but if my kids put the time and effort into a future and they learn important adult skills, it will be enough to earn it.
Q: What about the scoreboard?
A: Parents create transcripts. And you can put whatever you want on it. “Autocorrect” is as valid as “algebra”. In fact, you can get creative with it, depending on what your child actually learns and needs!
You can also create layers on the scoreboard however you want. My 13-year-old has taken a few short classes on various aspects of American history over the past year. He participated in a 4-13 week series about different time periods in history, watched several documentaries and took a short civics course. I would consider the combination of all these shorter courses and activities an “American history course”. We don’t use a formal curriculum for that, but we don’t have to.
I will do this as the children’s knowledge unfolds. If they have the knowledge and do the work – even if in ‘unusual’ ways – then they get credit for it.
Epilogue
We are still in our high school years. But to me, it’s not that different from my middle school years. It is about continuing to support my children as they learn and grow, helping them achieve the goals they set for themselves and ensuring they are as prepared as possible for adulthood.
If you have a question that I haven’t answered, feel free to ask!
What do you think about not going to high school?
