Yiu Yu Hoi/Getty’s photo; Collage by NPR
Yiu Yu Hoi/Getty’s photo; Collage by NPR
Need some really good advice? look no further Dear Life Toolkit. In each episode, we pose one of your most pressing questions to an expert. This question was answered by former first lady Michelle Obama, author of a new memoir, The light we carry: Passing through uncertain times. This conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
Dear Life Kit,
After retiring for seven years, I feel out of place. I don’t know where I want to go or how to get there. COVID has added isolation and distance. I want to volunteer to help but also want to meet new people and I don’t know where to start. -Asking for Directions
Former first lady Michelle Obama answers questions from Dear Life Kit listeners who feel lost and disconnected amid the pandemic. Obama is the author of a new memoir, The light we carry: Passing through uncertain times.
Mito Habe Evans/NPR’s photo; Collage by NPR
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Mito Habe Evans/NPR’s photo; Collage by NPR
That is a good question. A lot of people today are feeling isolated and disconnected. My advice is to start small and be brave enough to step out of your comfort zone.
Interestingly, making new friends is one of the hardest things we ask ourselves to do — and a lot of people don’t like the feeling of rejection. But the only way to make new friends is to get out of the house, find activities, organizations, things that interest you. Start with your passion. I don’t care if it’s knitting – something I took in during the quarantine – or if it’s exercising or joining a religious community.
You have to do your homework. And it starts with looking within to find out: What do you care about? What do you want to learn? What do you want to do? Then you must register. Put yourself out there, join the world, walk up to someone new, say hello, invite someone to lunch. Those are the little things.
In this age of social media, we have dropped the habit of making friends in real life. It’s uncomfortable, but it’s the only way you’ll do it. And believe me, you will feel better when you have a community around you. So take the risk.
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Dear Life Kit hosted by Andee Tagle and produced by Beck Harlan and Sylvie Dougliswith help from our intern Jamal Michel. Bronson Arcuri is the management producer and Meghan Kean is the supervising editor. Alicia Zheng produces the Dear Life Kit video series for Instagram.
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