Stress as a working mom is more common than you think. The well-dressed working woman may have had a mental breakdown in the bathroom the night before. Simply put, you are not alone. Being a mother is no easy feat, and being a working mom is even harder and can put a lot of pressure on you mentally and physically. Although this life chooses you, most mothers do not choose to leave work because of the upcoming baby.
A baby may challenge us but will not prevent driving. If you choose to leave your job and face your home, the way to go mom! As long as it’s your decision and you’re not resenting yourself or others, then do what makes you happy. However, if you love your job/career and of course your family, but you’re finding things overwhelming, breathe, there’s no need to rush.
One thing you should consciously remove yourself from is the guilt that comes with it. As long as you’re doing all you can and your intentions are pure, there’s no need to feel guilty about the things you can’t achieve, whether at home or at work. In the end, your life will work out, but you need to think about it without burning yourself up.
Check out 7 helpful tips that can help you cope as a working mom…
# first. Negotiate with the authorities
Most jobs with flexible policies recognize more productive employees. As a working mom who understands her behavior, ask for adaptive work options. Perhaps a change of department, different working hours, or the option to work remotely for most departments. The “What’s in it for me” part will always be important. Think about how these changes will positively affect your work and also let your boss know how this will benefit the company. This way, it’s a win-win situation for all parties involved.
# 2. Prove nothing
We are caught up in a society where broken glass ceilings have become the norm. We try harder than we can, just to prove our capabilities to those who don’t support us.
“Helen, you know you’re not ready for this new baby. You need to go home. Or do you want your child to call the nanny first? Run after. This table is for men. Come back to your family”.
As a working mother, Helen felt she had too much to prove to the team. She took a management job that involved frequent travel and the front of her house suffered. This might not be a problem if she and her family are okay, but Helen feels guilty and eventually becomes depressed. Do what you can, every time. Do what gives you satisfaction, and don’t always try to prove yourself to people who don’t care about you. Remember, you can do it all, but it doesn’t have to happen all at once.
#3. Skip the people-pleasing attitude
Saying yes when you mean no is not a sign of a nice person. It’s a sure sign that you’re definitely on your way to burnout avenue. Master the art of prioritizing and this requires discipline. If you say yes to an after-work party and then have to rush home unprepared, you may end up exhausted afterwards.
Annette and the other moms at the office call you to set you up for an impromptu meeting after work, and you say yes. Meanwhile, you have to take care of the kids, while your partner goes on his shift. While you can have a few slices of office pizza and talk to a girl, you know you shouldn’t say yes to the invitation, but you don’t want to sound like the “bad guy.”
Learn to say no to things that can take your temper, your plans, and your time, but also be open about what you’re willing to do. This way you don’t register yourself as antisocial or selfish.
#4. Rely on your support
If you have a co-parent involved, talk to him. You’re better off chatting about responsibilities and how they fit into both schedules than burning and nurturing your partner. If you don’t have the above resources, think about other loved ones who would be willing to help keep track of the kids.
# 5. Be open to compromise, it’s not failure
To cope as a working mom, you have to be willing to compromise on things that don’t affect you or your baby, so you can strike a balance. Sometimes you weigh things on a priority scale, ignoring some and prioritizing others. You don’t always have to insist on one way of doing things. When the pressure is constantly increasing, choose the most important tasks and relax for other tasks.
Yes, you will love a color-coded wardrobe for your child, and when your partner messes it up, you get messy and start rearranging the whole house. Meanwhile, you have a 7 o’clock meeting the next day, and you stay up coloring your closet until 3 a.m. Just to stare at your partner snoring, and feel the tightening in your stomach.
# 6. Consciousness makes your life easier
Rebecca realized that she wasn’t ready to keep running around and tiring herself out. So what did she do? She found a house near her work and enrolled her children in a school near her home. Map out her daily routine and secure a grocery store relatively close to home. If these decisions are within your control, find ways to reduce the stress of going to work.
Coping as a working mom means you’ll learn ways to simplify your life. If you can afford to hire a babysitter to take care of your little ones, by all means. Research work tools that can reduce your workload. At this point, specifically talk about anything that helps you relieve stress and try to avoid extra stress like the plague. This way you have “my time“For random rejuvenation.
#7. Look outside
A phenomenon that sounds ironic, but it works. If you feel overwhelmed and incompetent, find someone to mentor your career. Chances are when you mentor someone a little behind you in their career, it helps you cope as a working mom. It reminds you how far you’ve come, and most of the times clearly shows your next direction. Mentoring can be time-consuming, but if done skillfully, can be beneficial. Take a few minutes, weekly or monthly, to help a working mom stay ahead, while observing your career and spiritual life.
Featured image: Mongkolchon Akesin | iStock
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