Being fired from a toxic job can still make you uncomfortable

Stories of a toxic work culture litter the internet with stories of bad coworkers and even worse bosses. For example, the founder of Away suitcase is said to have used Slack to insult her team, including calling them “brain dead.” WeWork’s Adam Neumann organizes Mandatory meetings on Sunday. And Amazon drivers reported skipping bathroom breaks and urinating in bottles.

If you’ve ever found yourself in a workplace that’s bad for your mental health, you know it can be bad for your health. And if you’ve been quit a toxic job You probably also know it can be confusingly annoying.

Lisa Bobby, psychologist and clinical director of Personal Development & Coaching in Denver, Colorado. “One person would be upset and their friends would be like ‘oh my god why is that.'”

Why you might think ‘it’s my fault’

The reason letting go of a boss has such a negative impact on your life is because many people form an “abusive relationship” with their work, Bobby says.

“They have a story that says, ‘if I was better I wouldn’t have done a bad thing. It’s my fault,'” she said. better this person will treat me how i deserve to be treated. “

If you find yourself missing a boss who can’t please or doesn’t respect your boundaries, be sure to “make space for your feelings,” says Bobby.

“No matter what’s going on, you change the way it feels by changing your story,” she says. “If you’re feeling really bad about losing your job, it’s because you’re rewriting a hurtful or embarrassing story. Create a new story that feels genuine, but that stresses you out. strongly in a positive direction.”

For example, instead of telling yourself “they hate me,” say “I didn’t love that job either and now I’m free to find something better.”

They have a story that says, ‘if I had been better I wouldn’t have done a bad job. It’s my fault.’

Even losing a job you hate can leave a ‘huge void’

Brandon Smith, therapist and executive coach, says: Therapist at Work

“There are environments where you have to dedicate your entire life to a profession,” he said. “The common ones would be high-pressure consultants, high-pressure law firms and investment banks. These people are notorious for sleeping in their offices.”

Bobby says: If you quit a big time-consuming job, you can feel disoriented.

“Losing your exclusive job all the time leaves a huge void in your life, especially if your meaning or self-worth is tied to your professional role,” she says. . “In these circumstances, people can feel extreme anxiety, panic and loss, and sometimes go right back to another toxic job where they overworked themselves to get out of the crisis. existential crisis.”

To cope, take this time to invest in hobbies, self-care, or personal relationships, she says.

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