Sports

Aaron Judge injures hip on 31st birthday


Unfortunately, the ethical standards of journalism prevent me from accepting any donations or gifts as a thank you for my work, so for those of you looking for Venmo, please give me some beer money to join New York Yankees overpaid to Aaron Judge, all I ask is that you donate to the charity of your choice. In case you missed it, Judge is treating a mild hip strain and Aaron Boone is giving his time to see if the AL home runner king needs to be included on the injured list.

The midfielder signed a nine-year, $360 million contract for the season, and didn’t even make it through April unscathed. To be fair, I’m not against Judge – I’m against Pinstripes. Do you know how he hurt his hip? Sliding tried to steal the third base on his 31st birthday on Wednesday. At least that’s what people speculated, because the next day he was pulled out after hitting twice, and since then he hasn’t seen the diamond again.

“In the grand scheme of things and the big picture, we feel like we’ve got good news on it,” Boone said when asked about Judge’s diagnosis.

He’s right. That’s good news. It’s not like Judge needs hip replacement surgery. It’s just a slight strain on the body part that is most easily mentioned when mocking a player (or your friend) for being old. Never mind that the slugger is currently falling below his career average on a team with two games over 0.500, fourth in the AL East, 3.5 games over second and third, and eight return from Tampa.

While it’s early days – we haven’t even played 30 games yet – and the Yankees are sure to keep running, the Judge contract is hovering like a fart that no one wants to claim. (Don’t worry, Hal Steinbrenner will blame Brian Cashman, just as he can with all the smelly gas leaks in the owner’s box.)

I’m sure if you ask Yankees fans about Judge, they’ll give you bullshit like “If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. Memories from that 62 home run are worth every penny in Judge’s $360 million deal.” And you know what? They’re right – that’s the whole joke. Once you drop illusionThe only direction from there is down.

Judge’s 2022 MVP campaign is ridiculous. He hits the ball out of the skin. He had the best contract season in the history of contract seasons in any sport. He played so well that Roger Maris Jr. had to cry, essentially making sure the Yankees overpaid for him. The end of the season is a sweep at the hands of Houston and another unending year in New York.

How quickly Judge’s contract turns into an albatross, I don’t know. It really depends on health, and that’s been a bad thing throughout Judge’s career. For now, though, this couldn’t get any better, because it couldn’t be worse for Yankees fans.

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